Compass
by SamCyberCat
Summary: Badger had grown weary that his restlessness prevented him from being happy. Crow/Badger.


**Notes:** Written for Spectrumv on tumblr, who gave me the prompts Crow/Badger and "Anxiety". Set several years post-canon, when they're both adults.

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><p>"It ain't you, it's 'ere. But I know yer realleh need this place, so I'm goin' t' go away fer a while."<p>

That had been what Badger had told Crow one morning, three months ago, when he'd got ready to leave Southampton. And, if he was honest, part of him had secretly hoped that Crow would come as well. That he'd drop everything, close the shop and come travelling with Badger.

But he knew that would never be the case. Because Crow really did need the stability that the shop provided. He liked the safety and security of knowing where he lived and where his next meal was coming from. And for a long time Badger tried to be like that as well, but in the end it had done him more harm than good.

Because Badger didn't feel secure, he felt tied down. He wanted to see more of the world than Misthallery or a tiny shop in Southampton could provide. So, after a long time of practising the speech in his head, Badger eventually told Crow that he wasn't going to stay with him. At least not right now.

It's funny how things had changed for them. In their youth, Crow had been the one who'd wanted to get out of Misthallery as fast as he could, whereas Badger was terrified that leaving might cause him to lose the precious friendships he had made there. However, as the years went on, they'd both realised something about themselves – that the world is too big of a playing field for Crow and that Badger could travel it five times around without losing anything he held dear. Essentially, they'd swapped feelings on the matter.

Maybe Crow hadn't caught onto this as quickly as Badger had. He probably thought that he was doing them both a lot of good by making them a home and had certainly invested a lot of hard-earned cash into doing so. It was possible that he thought that Badger wanted to leave because he hated him...

No, don't think like that. Crow had been understanding on the day Badger had left. Quiet, but definitely understanding.

They hadn't kept in contact since then. Neither by writing nor phone. Badger didn't stay in the same place long enough for writing and phone calls made him nervous, so he didn't even try.

At first he'd felt better in himself than he had done for a while. With the shackles that held him to the shop removed, he would hike across hills and roads with a spring in his step. And he found some kind of strange thrill out of not knowing where he would be at the end of each day or even how he'd get there.

All he'd taken with him was a small pack of supplies and his guitar. The latter had proven more useful than the former, since his own food ran out quickly and he'd relied on busking to make some spare change here and there.

Truly this is the life that Badger wanted for himself.

Over time, however, he had come to miss Crow. Once the excitement had worn off, he'd spent many a night camping just thinking about Crow back in the shop. Which was when the worry had set in. What if Crow thought Badger hated him? Or if Crow himself hated Badger for leaving? What if he was struggling to run the shop on his own? What if... what if he'd found another person who was better than Badger to stand by his side? Someone who was more like Crow himself and had the same values.

It was hard for Badger to enjoy his travels any more, with those thoughts weighing on his mind. They made him feel sick, but at the same time he still felt compelled to travel further. It was like a grand conflict between his stomach and his legs. His heart couldn't get involved in the discussion, because that was equally torn between Crow and travelling.

So he'd wandered around for three months before deciding that he couldn't stand not knowing any longer. If Crow did hate him or had moved on from him, then finding out would be a better way of dealing with that than wandering about, never knowing for sure.

He'd got a train down to Southampton as soon as he could. The hilly north slowly becoming the flatter fields of the south as the train sped down the country. It was strange, really. Badger had always seen himself as a northern lad, but something about coming back down this way felt comforting for him. It was as if he might have been born in Manchester, but Southampton was his home, whether he liked it or not.

And the more he thought of home, the more he thought of the warm, cosy house that was back there. It might be a small house with an equally small shop out the front, but it was theirs. They had saved for it and no one could take it away from them. And there would be Crow, working all day, because he didn't know how to stop. But in the evening Badger would drag him away so they could eat a selection of Morrison's finest own brands, while watching some rubbish on their tiny TV. Maybe it had felt like a prison for a while, but now he was coming back to it he realised how much he'd missed it.

When he got off the train he was greeted by familiar streets, familiar faces saying hello and the ever so familiar smell of the salty, sea air. It made him feel good, at least until his stomach reminded him why he was here. That as nice as all of this was, it didn't guarantee how anything was going with Crow.

Once he'd made his way back to the shop on the harbour, he felt positively ill with anticipation. Even opting to go through the shop door, instead of the door around the side that led into the house itself. He didn't feel like he was part of that house right now, so he didn't deserve the side door.

"Crow?" he whispered, peeking around into the shop.

And there he was, sat at the counter, sorting through a box of junk. He looked up and they stared at each other for a moment, Crow's visible eye growing wide in surprise. It was too much. Badger nearly bolted away, but Crow was faster. The shorter man darting around the counter and over to grab Badger in a tight hug.

"Badge'! Ya back, Badge'! I didn't know if..." Crow's words trailed off, as the tears began. Oh dear, Crow was crying and it was all Badger's fault.

But Badger knew what to do, resting his head on top of Crow's and rocking them both gently from side to side.

"Didn't think I'd leave yer f'ever, did yer?" he asked, his voice a weak chuckle that also promised tears.

"No, I... well, perhaps a little..." confessed Crow.

"Couldn't stay away from my Crowlo fer long," assured Badger, "Missed you too much."

Crow wiped his eyes and looked up at him; "Maybe so, but this ain't it, right? Ya ain't gonna stay 'ere always?"

"Well..." Badger admitted. He let that hang in the air, so it would say all that it needed to.

"It's all right," soothed Crow, "At first I thought it was me. That ya 'ated bein' 'ere an' that as long as I wanted to be 'ere, we could never be 'appy togethah. But then I realised that wasn't right. That ya just needed to be away sometime an' other times... ya..."

"Other times I need you," Badger finished, "An' yeah, yer right. I can't tell you 'ow 'appy I was t' be away from this place at first. But afteh a while I couldn't think about owt else but you an' 'ere. I think I might onleh eveh feel like I belong with one or the otheh fer a little while."

"An' that's fine, ya can 'ave that," Crow promised, "Ya can wake up one mornin' an' leave for as long as ya want, just as long as I can be sure ya gonna come back some day."

"I'll always come back fer you. I promise," Badger answered.

And just like that, all the months of worrying melted away. Badger had discovered he could have both worlds and switch between them, because each respected that he needed the other just as much. His love for Crow and his love for travelling were both equal, not battling for superiority against each other.

So from then onwards, Badger would help run the shop sometimes and travel the world other times. His patterns were generally inconsistent and depended on his feelings. But he would always, without fail, come back to Crow in the winter. The migrating Badger, they'd call him. Always travels south for the winter.


End file.
